


The Sibling That Was Meant To Be

by shxrpfangs



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Ben's pov as a ghost, Gen, i'm new and not used to this, idk what else to put for this, the apocalypse doesn't happen cause i'm too lazy to base it around that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-15
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2019-11-17 19:11:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18104657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shxrpfangs/pseuds/shxrpfangs
Summary: Ben doesn't like being dead. He doesn't like being stuck in one place forever. It's not his fault he's dead, or at least he doesn't think it is.Being stuck with Klaus isn't always bad to be with but sometimes it gets too much for Ben.------Everything is still canon but the apocalypse.





	1. Being Dead

**Chapter 1: Being Dead**

* * *

  

Being dead isn't fun.

I died too young, at this point I kind of forget my age. Or at least the age I died at. I don't even remember what happened and I doubt my siblings want to remember it if they do. I wish I could keep talking to them but I can only talk to Klaus. Then again it's his power to talk to the dead. I think everyone else forgets that he has the ability to do it. He can see the dead and hear them but they can't. He'll talk to me and they'll give him a look.

"Who are you talking to?"

"Why are you always talking to yourself?"

"Are you high?" That's one of Diego's favorite lines to say to Klaus every time he and I talk. Klaus, like always, hisses. It's his favorite thing to do, he doesn't to everyone even me. It's kind of funny actually. But that's Klaus for you. The boy who can talk to dead people.

"Say, Ben?"

"Yeah?" I looked up from Vanya's book and looked over at Klaus who was reading the titles of the books on the bookshelf, looking for something interesting to read. "Sometimes, you disappear. Where do you go?" I shrug and turn back to the book. "A shrug isn't an answer. C'mon Ben! Tell me!" I heard him move away from the bookshelf and hop over the couch and face me. I sighed and closed the book and placed it on the coffee table in front of us. "You wouldn't really understand. I don't go anywhere. I'm kind of stuck with you. You summoned me and here I am."

"No no no!! You don't understand. That one time you disappeared, like when I turned back around you were gone."

I look at Klaus in the eyes and shake my head lightly. "Elaborate."

He rolled his eyes and scoff. "I didn't know ghosts could get possessed let alone by Hazel who's still alive and kicking." Klaus gave a frustrated sigh and stood up from the couch and stomped over to the bookshelf pouting. "I can't tell you where I go. It's hard to explain. People who are still alive won't understand." I lean back into the couch and watch as he grabs a book from the shelf and tosses it to the ground.

He continues to do so as if he's a five-year-old kid who won't get his way. "You know sometimes I wonder if you really grew up. You pout and complain like a five-year-old."

"Hey Klaus, have you seen my knives?" Klaus and I both turn our heads to see Diego walk in looking around the room. "Tell them, Mom has them."

"Why don't you tell him, smartass." I look at Klaus who's turned away from Diego and currently facing me frowning. "Mad?" I ask a smile coming to my lips. He doesn't answer. "Thought so."

"Uh, hello? Stop talking to ghosts and answer me." Diego snaps his fingers as he starts looking under the magazines on the coffee table. "I'm not talking to ghosts, I'm talking to Ben."

"Technically I'm a ghost." I look over Diego as he continues searching the coffee table and smile at Klaus who sticks his finger up at me. "Love you too brother!" 

In the hallway, I could hear the sound of Mom's heels on the tile floor. "Mom!" Diego calls out for her and walks over to the archway. She appears in front of him and gives him her signature smile she gives everyone. "Yes, Diego. What is it?"

"Have you seen my knives? I can't find them anywhere."

"Oh, they're downstairs. I washed them for you." Even though Diego wasn't facing me, I could see his cheeks rise up as he smiled at Mom. "Thanks, Mom."

"Anything for you Diego." They walk out of the library and the sound of her heels fade off into the distance. "So.." Klaus starts. I almost forgot he was here with me. It kind of slips your mind when you're dead. You know, you forget that you're attached to your brother and can rarely ever leave cause he summoned you. And no one else can you see only him because that's his power. That's a normal thing, right? I think so. Just being dead. 

It's kind of peaceful. Dad's no longer alive. I don't have to do missions anymore. I could just chill and be dead. Lovely..

"What do you want?" I say after he doesn't say anything else after his 'so'. Klaus sits down on the coffee table and looks at me. "What's it like being dead?"

"I'm going to be honest with you." The look on his face was complete excitement. "I fucking hate." The smile quickly disappeared from his face as he only said one thing. "Oh.."

"It's kind of boring actually, then again for the hundredth time, you summoned me. I'm stuck with you. It's fun sometimes, it's interesting sometimes, but it's honestly really a drag. I don't like the fact that no one else but you can see me. Being dead sucks."

"Well...I'm sorry you died."

"Everyone is. I don't think it's any of our faults."

"Do you remember?" He asked. "I prefer not to remember. Do you?" He didn't meet my gaze. "Some of it but not all." We sat in awkward silence until the sound of running feet filled the air. I looked into the hallway to see Five running to the front door. "Five?" Klaus called out. We both looked at each other and I raised my eyebrow.

"Don't-"

"Let's go." Klaus shot up from the coffee table and ran after Five. I groaned and got up from the couch. I shoved my hands in my pocket and followed Klaus. "Ben come on!!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!!


	2. Vanya's Book: Extra Ordinary: My Life As Number Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben likes Vanya's book. Out all of the siblings he's probably the only one.
> 
> Well...maybe Klaus and Five too but they've never really talked about it. He's read over Klaus' shoulder a couple times when he had the book. He thought it was interesting.

**Chapter 2: Vanya's Book**

* * *

 

"Why are you reading that again?" The sound of Klaus falling onto his bed comes from the side. "I never finished it," I said licking my thumb to turn the page. "I thought you did." I lied to Klaus. Why not? He's fun to mess with, the way he pouts and whines is funny to me.

Hey, I'm dead let me have fun.

"Nope. I didn't." I heard a sigh come from Klaus, shortly after a groan came from him as well. "I'm gonna leave if you make another noise." I look up from the book and see a mischievous smile on his lips. His mouth opened slightly. He continued to make eye contact with me as I could hear a low growl come from his throat. "Don't make me walk over there and punch you."

"You can't even touch me. You barely do it half the time." He laughs. "I've done it before and I'll do it again" I fold the corner of the page and close it before setting it down and stand up. I walk over to Klaus who sits up with his mouth still open. I curl my hand into a fist and pull my arm back and swing at his face. My arm goes through his face and he bursts out laughing. I try a second time and once again my arm goes through his face.

"Third time's the charm." This time my fist makes contacts with his face. Blood shoots out of his nose and falls onto his shirt and drips down his face. "Haha! Who's laughing now? Me!"

"Klaus!" Diego bursts into the room dressed in a fancy outfit instead of his usual "superhero" outfit. "Whoa, look at you. Going on a date? Can I come along?"

"No! Why's your nose bleeding?"

"Ben punched me!" Diego sighed and rolled his eyes. "I don't have time for this. Do you have a tie? I really need to leave!" Diego walked over to Klaus' dresser and started searching through the drawers throwing everything out. "Hey! Hey! Hey! What are you doing? You think I have any ties? I barely leave the house! According to you, I'm a junkie who's high and always talking to ghosts!" 

I stood off to the side and watched as Diego gave up looking in Klaus' drawers and left his room. "Hey, come back here and fix my stuff!!" Diego continued walking down the hall, his footsteps slowly fainting. "Ugh! The nerve of Mr. spandex. God. He messed up all my stuff." Klaus picked up the tossed out clothes and started fixing them. "I wish you could help me." He groaned.

"I'm glad I can't. I'll see you later."

"Wait!" He turned around as I picked up Vanya's book. "WAIT! I thought you couldn't pick up things."

"Took you a while to notice," I said turning to him opening up Vanya's book to continue reading where I left off. "I can pick up  _some_ things but not all. I'll be in the library." I exited his room and headed towards the library. Hopefully there I'll have some peace and quiet. Away from Klaus and him complaining about his boredom, and away from...I guess everyone else in the house. They can't see me but unfortunately, I can hear them.

I don't even know why I'm reading Vanya's book again. I just thought it was good. I mean it has bad stuff about everyone in it since we were all rude to her at one point or another but she needed to vent and so she did. I don't blame her, I probably would've done the same if I was lied to my entire life about how I was normal and my siblings all had powers. It wasn't fair to Vanya and clearly, Reggie didn't see that. He was probably afraid of her.

She was nice about a couple of us I guess. She was nice about me, Five, and Klaus. Just the three of us. Five and her were close, I always saw them together. If Five didn't disappear that day then they would've been best friends but now they have to rebuild their relationship. She didn't write too much about me. Then again I died early, way too early. Too young.

There's not much about me but the things she said in her book are interesting. I wish I was still alive so I could ask everyone about what they thought about it. Diego didn't seem to happy when he found out she was back home after the news of Dad kicking the bucket.

Luther didn't really seem too happy either. Then again he's only happy when Allison's around. He hates everyone else, especially Diego. Those two are at each other's necks constantly. It's interesting to watch. Just seeing them fight after they Luther dumped dad's ashes was cool. They knocked over my statue but I couldn't care less. I don't even look like that. It's embarrassing. I bet Dad just decided to say fuck it and just have some random statue of me. He probably didn't even come up with it actually. Probably Pogo, or Mom. Who knows?

I kind of want to talk to Vanya. In general and about her book. I have a bunch of questions. Well a lot of them actually. Since we all know she has powers know, is she going to leave the book to the public? I mean what if someone approaches her and asks her how her life was in the Umbrella Academy. She'll probably so, "Oh it was awful but it turns out I have powers. Have a nice day."

Oh Vanya, what an interesting person you are. You didn't deserve that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed the chapter!!


	3. Vanya The Forgotten Sibling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben likes to think that he and Vanya were close at one point. Five and him seemed to be the closest siblings to Vanya. He didn't think there was anything wrong with Vanya then again he didn't really do much when he was younger.
> 
> He didn't speak up much like everyone else did.
> 
> To him, Vanya was nice and kind. She didn't deserve to be kept in the dark away from her powers. The worst part about being dead that Ben hated, was that he couldn't talk to everyone yet the urge was there so badly. He wanted to talk to Vanya. He wanted to apologize for everyone's mistakes.

**Chapter 3: Vanya The Forgotten Sibling**

* * *

  

Luther didn't like her. He was the "leader", "number one".  _Space boy._ The one who caused a lot of arguments between everyone. He's the one who treated Vanya badly when she wanted to apologize after what happened with Allison.

Allison was kind of like Luther. Then again she hung out with him every chance they had. They always looked at each other during dinner when we had to be quiet. They always did things together. It was pretty obvious that they liked each other but I'm glad nothing happened between the two of them. They each moved on and it was for the better. Better for everyone and especially better for them.

Diego. I can't really speak for him. I don't know what part he had in Vanya's feelings. I don't think they were close at all. It was more like her relationship with Luther. I don't think they liked each other growing up. He had his own problems to deal with too. We all did. He just handled his problems with anger and took them out on other people. Unfortunately, one of the people on that list was Vanya.

Klaus was okay with Vanya. After he was locked away by Dad he kept to himself as I did during our childhood. He was afraid. He had a lot of fears and his PTSD affected him in ways none of us would understand. He's still afraid to this day and I have to witness constantly. It's not his fault he has PTSD. Dad was abusive and neglected all of us. He was a bad father.

Number Five or Five for short. I don't think any of us know why he didn't have a name like everyone else. I think he didn't like the names that were probably given but I guess it makes sense. Five suits him. He's smart and he knows what he's doing most of the time. He's better than all of us combined. I know for sure that he and Vanya were close. After we all returned, she seemed happy that he was back while the rest of us were all shocked and surprised. I'm kind of glad he's back. He seemed like the only light and happiness in Vanya's life before he disappeared. I think he regrets leaving. To be quite honest I kind of wish he never left in the first place but he wanted to rebel against Dad. We all did at one point. Probably one of our greatest achievements when Dad was alive and we still lived in the house. I think Vanya looked up to Five. They're both smart. She learned the violin and is skilled in it and he learned how to time travel. If I remember clearly, I'm pretty sure his bedroom is filled with equations all over the wall.

Lastly, there's me. I'm going to be honest with everyone. I wasn't nice to Vanya at times and I'll admit to it. I'll admit I wasn't the best brother. We all were terrible siblings. Whether it was our Reginald teaching us or our own decision, we have to all agree that we were rude to Vanya. We're the reason why she wrote that book. She was excluded out of missions because she was told that she didn't have powers. Dad forced Allison to use her powers on her, "I heard a rumor that you thought you were ordinary." I still don't think it was fair to Vanya. I mean now she's good with her powers at least she didn't have to go on the missions with us. I didn't really like using my powers much. I had to deal with killing people. God, I remember that one time during the bank robbery, I was covered in blood after I used my powers. I really didn't want to go through with it. I hate remembering it. Vanya didn't have to deal with that, she has a better power than me. Everyone does.

Luther has super strength. He's kind of monkey now. It's funny. Allison can create rumors but they come with consequences depending on how she uses them. Diego can throw knives and control them in the air to hit his target. So much better. I would love to have something like that. Klaus, I guess his power wasn't really useful on missions but I never really watched him. I've mentioned it a bunch but he communes with the dead. Five can teleport and distract people and take them down easily. Lucky him. I don't want to talk about my power. I hate it. Lastly, there's Vanya. Vanya can use the sounds around her to turn into energy and blast people away from her. It's good.

If I had to rank my siblings in order from favorite to least it would be this,

1\. Vanya - She deserves it after all she's gone through.

2\. Five - For being the smart sibling and being better than everyone.

3\. Klaus - For letting me be able to witness everything that's happened since dad died, I'm glad he summoned me. I'm glad I'm able to stay.

4.  Allison - She's a cool sister. I don't really have much to say about her.

5\. Diego - He's okay sometimes but doesn't deserve anything higher than five. Sorry, Diego.

6\. Luther - For being an actual asshole. He deserves the last place for thinking he's "Number One".

There's my ranking. I think Diego would agree with me on Luther being last place. I think everyone but Allison will. She'll probably rank him in fifth place and probably put...oh I don't know maybe Diego or Klaus?

I wonder what Vanya would think of this. Would she be happy about it? I like to think so. But I don't think she'll place Luther in six place. No. She'll place him in 10th place. Those other spaces would be empty. In her mind Luther deserves it. It's in my mind too and will be forever.

I wish I was still alive so I could make things right with her again. Vanya, I love you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed!


	4. Talking With A Special Someone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben came up with an idea to talk to Vanya. He's been *dying* to ever since. He misses her and wants to apologize. 
> 
> He decided to talk to Klaus about it and after a bunch of convincing Klaus finally agreed to it. He's hoping Vanya actually believes it's him. If all else fails. He'll punch Klaus as proof.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm pretty sure Ben can pick up some things. If I remember correctly he picked up a book??? If he didn't oh well.
> 
> So in this chapter, since he wants to talk to Vanya, Ben's going to be able to pick up like a pen and write to her with Klaus' help of course. After talking a little with Vanya he comes up with another idea. Read to find out! :)
> 
> Enjoy!!

**Chapter 4: Talking With A Special Someone**

* * *

  

"Luther where's Vanya?" Klaus bounded down the steps in a frantic search for Vanya. "Actually don't fucking answer that! You hate everyone in this family." I smiled to myself as I watched Luther's face. He looked taken back by Klaus comment about his hate for everyone in the family. I walked calmly down the steps with my hands in my pockets. 

"Vanya!!" He called out her name as he walked into the living room. "She's not in here." He ran out of the living room and headed into the next room. I heard him call out her name again. I couldn't help but laugh.

"Ben I swear to god if that's you laughing I'm going to be the one punching you." He called out Vanya's name again. "Klaus?" I heard Vanya's soft voice as she walked down a couple of steps before stopping. I looked at her and lifted up my hand to put a finger to my lips before stopping midway. I almost forgot she couldn't see me. My smile slowly left my face and I returned my hand back to my pocket. I twiddled with the pen that I had in my pocket.

I had come up with the idea of talking to Vanya through my writing. If I was able to hold a book then surely I could write to people, right? Klaus ran out of the room and returned to the foyer. He almost passed by Vanya but quickly noticed her.

"Vanya! Oh thank God, there you are! I need you." He ran up to her and grabbed her hand nearly making her fall down the stairs as he ran down with her. "Careful Klaus," I said as Vanya nearly slipped twice. "Oh shut up, Ben!" She regained her footing once she was on the tile floor. "What do you need me for?" She asked.

"I can't tell you here, I'm afraid SOMEONE will lock me up!" He turned his head and looked at Luther frowning. "I said I was sorry." Luther tried to defend himself but I knew Klaus wouldn't take it. "Sorry doesn't fix Vanya! Let's go." He quickly turned away and headed downstairs. "Ben! Come along!"

"Ben?" Vanya asked. I followed them downstairs. "You'll see in a bit. I need you to believe me during this entire thing. I promise that it's all true." Vanya didn't answer as we walked downstairs and sat at the kitchen table. I sat down across from Vanya along with Klaus. "So what's this entire thing with Ben? I thought he was dead." Klaus leaned back in his chair pushing it away from the table making it tilt as he rocked gently back and forth. "What's my power, Vanya?" He asked in a calm tone. "You can see the dead, right? And speak with them?" She moved her chair closer to the table as she stared back at Klaus with a confused look on her face.

He nodded slowly. "I summoned Ben. No one can see him by me. But he's here right now." Vanya looked around the room even though Klaus had said that no one else could see me but him. "Where is he?"

"Next to me." To her the chair next to Klaus was empty. By the look on her face, I knew she wanted to believe it but couldn't bring herself to do so. It was a lot for her. What happened with Luther, only happened three weeks ago. We were all still recovering.  _She_ was still recovering. "I..." She started but didn't finish. "Go ahead, Ben." Klaus slides the piece of notepad paper over to me. I took the pen that I was fiddling with earlier out of my pocket and uncapped it. I brought the pen to the paper but didn't start writing. My hand was shaking and I felt nervous.

"It's okay. Take your time." Klaus said. His voice sounded soothing when he spoke. It reminded me of mom. She used to help me before missions get my zipper unstuck. For some reason, it always got stuck. "Oh, Ben!" She'd say as she helped me. Then she'll usher me on to go with everyone else to get going.

I breathed in and relaxed as I started writing. I wrote **Hi Vanya**  down on the paper before lifting my hand up. "Ben?" I looked up at her with a smile on my face. I wish she could see it. 

 **It's me. Klaus summoned me and I've been with him ever since.**  The smile on Vanya's face made me happy. "It's good to hear from you. How are you?" 

 **Could be better.**  I write under my previous sentence. "How come you're talking to only me and not everyone else. Why now?" I looked over at Klaus. "Do you think she'll be mad?" He shook his head. "She'll understand where you're coming from. You got this bud! I'm right here!"

I wrote to Vanya again but this time it was longer. **I wanted to apologize. I can't really apologize for everyone but I'm going to anyway. I'm so sorry for the way that we all treated you. You didn't deserve it. I read your book and I actually liked it. You needed to vent and you got that outlet too.**

Vanya stood up from her seat and walked to our side of the table. She took a seat down next to me and read what I wrote. "Oh, it's okay Ben. I forgive everyone."

"Everyone except Luther." Klaus quickly added after he realized she wasn't going to speak more. She smiled and nodded. "Everyone except him." I heard her whisper under her breath. 

 **I miss you a lot.** The smile on Vanya's face turns sad. "I miss you too Ben. I wish you were here with us. There are so many things I want to talk to you about. You were my favorite sibling."

 **I thought Five was?** "He is too." I heard Klaus scoff from next to me. "What about me? Are you going to forget me? I may have been an ass to you at one point but I really care about you." I rolled my eyes and sighed. "Klaus shut up. Vanya and I are having a tender moment!"

"Make me!" I quickly turn in my seat and glare at him. "Don't make me!"

"You can barely do it first try." I narrow my eyes and hiss at him. "Hey! That's my thing!" He shouts. I curl my hand into a fist and punch Klaus in the face. "Motherfucker!!" He tilts back too far in his chair and goes crashing to the ground. The chair broke beneath him as he held his nose. It wasn't bleeding but I'm pretty sure it hurt like hell. "Fuck you! My nose actually hurts!!"

"Holy shit! He can punch you?" I turn to Vanya who was staring at Klaus who continued to lay on the floor holding his nose and groaning in pain. "Yeah." I heard him mutter. "it doesn't work all the time but it really catches me by surprise. I'll just lay here. Continue talking." 

**I don't really know what to say. I didn't think you would believe Klaus.**

"I'm shocked too. I honestly had no idea that you were here Ben. It's...it's great. Having you here is great. I really wish I could see you."

I stand up from my chair and look at Klaus who had rolled over onto his stomach. "Klaus, stand up!" He moaned. "I really don't want to!"

"I have an idea."

"Your ideas suck." He pouted butting out his bottom lip. "Just get up!" The room fell silent. No complaining from Klaus and no questions from Vanya. He finally stood up and looked at me. He wasn't frowning but didn't look too happy with me. "I have an idea. Get everyone into the living room."

"Fine. I'll go get everyone. Vanya go wait in the living room for us." I heard the feet of the chair scrape against the floor as Vanya stood up. "Oh, okay.." She seemed unsure about what was going to happen.

She followed after Klaus with me behind both of them. As soon as we got to the main floor they both parted ways. I wasn't sure if I should follow Klaus or go with Vanya into the living room so I waited in the foyer. 

It took Klaus twenty minutes to get everyone downstairs into the living room. Five and Luther seemed the most bothered but it. Especially Five. He was currently drinking coffee with a frown on his face. "This better be good." He muttered before taking a sip of the hot beverage.

Diego was sitting on the couch with Allison next to him. He looked kind of angry. Vanya was sitting next to Allison. The two of them were talking about something. Luther stood away from everyone else. Klaus looked at me for answers.

"Since you were able to summon me, do you think you can summon me again but like show me to everyone?" He shrugged. "I can try." I stood next to Klaus. "Everyone." He said getting everyone's attention. "I have something to show you. Actually,  _someone_ to show you."

"You got this. Just relax and focus on your power and me." I said. I really wanted this to work.

If I could write using a pen and paper then surely Klaus would be able to show me to everyone. I mean I could literally hold objects. He just needed to focus. C'mon Klaus focus.

Klaus made fists with his hands. They slowly started to glow a mixture of different blues. The color of my body slowly changed to a blue. "Oh my god." Allison was the first to speak once my body had changed to blue completely.

"Hi," I said smiling. I looked at Vanya who smiled back at me. Pogo and Mom walked in, each sharing a shocked expression on their faces. "Ben?" Mom asked. "Hi, mom. Everyone, it's been awhile."

"How are you here?" Luther asked. "Wow, you're all brawn and no brains." Five commented taking another sip from his coffee cup. He stood up from the armchair of the couch and walked over to me inspecting me as if I was some sort of device. "Fascinating. Klaus used his powers to summon you."

"How long have you been with us?" This question was from Diego this time. "I've been with Klaus for a while. I've kind of lost track but here I am."

"It's good to see you, Ben. How have you been?" Pogo asked. "I've been okay besides the fact that I'm dead. What about you Pogo?" He smiled. "I'm doing quite fine actually. Thank you for asking." I looked up at Mom who gave me her signature smile. "How come you didn't summon Dad like that?" Luther asked. Everyone turned their heads to look at him.

"What?" He asked staring at each individual person wondering why all eyes were on him. "Of course you would ask that space boy." Five mocked him again. "No one cares about old Reginald. That bastard deserved to croak. I have things to do. Ben it was nice seeing you." Five drank the rest of his beverage and set it down on the counter before walking out of the living room.

"Why would I summon Reggie? You think that bastard wants to come out. I tried when we had first come here and he hasn't appeared since. Oh well. Not my problem. C'mon Luther be happy! Ben's here! I summoned him!! Aren't you proud?" Luther sighed heavily before leaving as well. His loud thundering steps up the stairs filled the silence till we could no longer hear them.

"Klaus how much longer are you able to do that for?" Klaus shrugged. "I'm honestly not sure but I don't think for that much longer."

"OH DIEGO!! YOU CAN'T CALL ME HIGH ANYMORE CAUSE THIS ENTIRE TIME I'VE BEEN TALKING TO BEN!!" Klaus laughed and stuck his tongue out at Diego who ignored him. "He's ignoring you."

"Shut up, don't ruin the moment."

Vanya stood up from the couch and walked over and reached out to touch me. "I don't think it'll work," I tell her. She gives me a small smile. "I just wanted to try." Her hand goes right through my shoulder. "That's okay. Thanks for trying though. I would love a hug from you." I give her a smile back.

"Well just imagine it because I can."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed!!


	5. The Lost Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Klaus returned from Vietnam he never talked much about it. Ben's been wondering about what happened for two months now.
> 
> Every single time he does, something always gets in the way.
> 
> Finally, he gets the chance to...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dave should've lasted longer!! Klaus deserves more of Dave!!!

**Chapter 5: The Lost Love**

* * *

 

A couple of months ago, when Klaus had disappeared from this timeline for only a short while. He had gone to Vietnam. I'm not sure what happened while he was there but when he had come home his face was covered in tears and he was covered in blood. He was shaking and looked like he had lost someone. At the time I was afraid to ask him, so I let him recover.

Every time I wanted to, something always came up. Whether it was someone needing him or him completely avoiding me for something else. Sometimes I wondered if he knew I wanted to ask him what happened and that's why he avoided me.

"Klaus?" I knocked on his door gently. This morning when I went into his room, he didn't look like he wanted to talk. Diego had come in earlier as well and Klaus didn't bother him as he would usually do. Diego only raised an eyebrow at his brother's sudden change in mood but said nothing more when he left the room.

I decided to leave him alone and let him rest. He seemed deep in thought and detached from everything else.

I knocked on his door again and from the other side, I could hear someone sniffling. Klaus never cried. If he did, it was never in front of people. He rarely ever cried. Klaus didn't really show emotion. Well, he pouted but that was different.

I looked down at the doorknob and reached for it hoping it wouldn't be locked. I slowly turned it and to my relief, the door wasn't locked. I pushed it open and entered the room and closed the door behind me.

Klaus' room was a mess as usual but he was more of a mess than the state of his room. He was laying on his side on his bed with his arm hanging off the bed. His face was stained with dry tears and his eyes were red. His eyeliner had smudged slightly. "Klaus? You okay?" I ask him. He doesn't answer and continues staring at the floor.

I walk over to him and sit down in his field of vision. I watch his eyes trail up from my feet to meet mine. "Klaus?" I call his name once more. "What?" He says quietly. There was a sadness in his voice that I couldn't tell from what. "Why are you crying?" This isn't the first time I've been concerned about Klaus. I was used to him being down like this but this time it was different. I don't think he was sad about something dumb.

"I miss him." He murmured softly. I looked back into his eyes to see them fill with tears. Whoever this 'he' was, was very important to Klaus and clearly, it made him heartbroken. "Was it someone you met in Vietnam?" I asked trying to piece the puzzle pieces together. He nodded shifting the sheets slightly under the movement of his head. "Was it the Vietnam war?" He repeated the same motion he had done for the question I had asked earlier.

"Did he die in front of you?" Klaus shut his eyes tightly as a tear slipped out and slide down the side of his face and soaked into the sheet. I grabbed Klaus' hand that was hanging off of the bed and squeezed it. He squeezed back as he took in a shaky breath.

"His name was Dave." Klaus opened his eyes. He continued again. "He was very special to me. That war took him from me."

 Down the hallway, I could hear a pair of feet running. I had expected the pair of feet to run past Klaus' bedroom door but instead, they stopped directly at it. The door swung open. I turned my head to see who had opened the door to see Allison. Her lips were pressed into a thin line and her eyebrow was raised as she bared a confused look on her face. "Um...Klaus? You okay?"

"I'm having a tender moment right now. Please leave." Klaus said, his voice shook as he spoke. I could tell from that, that he was going to start crying again. I turned back to him and gave him a small smile of reassurance. "Don't cry again, Klaus. Take your time."

"Okay..I'll come back." Allison quickly shut the door as she had quickly entered. I could hear her footsteps slowly retreat from the door before I couldn't hear them any longer. "Do you want to continue?" I ask Klaus.

"Yeah...just give me a moment." He shut his eyes and with his free hand wiped the tears off his face. "We had become close when I had first teleported to Vietnam. I could've left right away but I just knew there was something about him that made me wanted to stay longer." He paused.

"Dave was the love of my life. My first kiss. He was amazing and we immediately clicked. That's never happened with anyone before. But I'm usually just buying drugs and doing them and having little to no interaction with anyone." Klaus chuckled lightly as he sniffed.

"I wish he lived. That war destroyed me." Klaus didn't say any more after that. I didn't really know how to respond. I had no idea that Vietnam had affected him so badly. I wonder if Klaus had tried to summon Dave when I wasn't here but that would seem like it'd be too much for him. It's been two months since that happened and here he is crying about someone he lost.

"Have you tried summoning him?" My voice sounded quiet in my ears as I asked Klaus a question. "I...I can't. It's just..." He trailed off. "That's okay, Klaus. I was just asking. Why don't we go do something and make you feel better? Okay?" I let go of Klaus' hand and let him sit up. He stretched and wiped his face with his shirt.

I stood up and waited for him to put on his shoes. We left his room and went downstairs to see what everyone else was up to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!


	6. Arguing About The Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the day after Klaus and Ben talked about Dave. Klaus is feeling better after talking about Vietnam and what had happened.
> 
> They walk downstairs that morning and everyone's downstairs. Pogo and mom are down there as well watching from the sides. Everyone's shouting over each other but the main topic of the argument is about what Luther did.
> 
> Ben thinks that what Luther did wasn't right but he wishes he could voice his opinion but no one can hear him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I don't like Luther and what he did to Vanya in episode 9 wasn't right! This monkey man needs to go back to space!!!

**Chapter 6: Arguing About The Past**

* * *

  

"Do you think mom cooked for breakfast?" Klaus asks Ben as they reach the main floor. They walk into another hallway to get to the basement level. "Of course she did. All her kids are here. Well six of them physically." I say to Klaus.

Klaus laughs and shakes his head. "You still count too, Ben." We jogged down the steps. I didn't smell any food cooking on the stove or hear the sound of mom using the pots or pans to cook breakfast. Instead, I heard loud shouting. "Do you hear that?" I ask Klaus.

"Yeah, I hear everyone shouting." We finally reached the last step and looked into the kitchen to see everyone standing around the kitchen table. Each person bared an angry expression on their face.

Mom and Pogo stood off to the side, both with a worried expression on their face. Mom didn't look too happy, she looked scared. Then again her kids were arguing in front of her. Her grown-up kids, each capable of taking someone down with their firsts or their powers.

"Um, what's going on?" Klaus asked raising his voice over everyone's shouting to be heard. Everything fell silent as they all looked at Klaus. "Klaus! Do you side with me or Luther on this?" Diego asked raising his voice even though he was the only one talking.

"On what?" Klaus asked confused. He had just walked on his siblings arguing. "Do you think that what Luther did to Vanya was right?" Klaus scoffed. "Of course not. Even I said that I wanted her to be let out. She's our sister for christ sake."

"Klaus! You're adding to the argument." I warned Klaus but he only waved me off with his hand dismissing me and what I had said. He pulled back the kitchen table chair and sat down on it propping his feet onto the table. He leaned back with a look of amusement on his face. "Luther, it wasn't fair to Vanya."

"Five you weren't even there! You don't know what I did."

"You locked her up in a fucking cell?! Everyone else wanted you to let her go but your dumb fucking monkey brain decided, "No let's just keep her in there. I'm Luther and I'm number one." Diego mocked Luther. It was clear out of everyone in the family, he was sick and tired of Luther being number one. He might've been the second child but you could tell he didn't like Luther being number one. If you asked him about it he would say that Luther didn't deserve it and was a horrible leader. As kids the anger wasn't really there but the more we all grew up and distanced ourselves from one another that anger started to pop out and boil inside of him.

"She hurt Allison!" I knew this argument was going nowhere. Luther had bad points and his arguments were awful, he was clearly going to say the same thing over and over again. It was one vs four people. "I didn't mean to! I came back to apologize and come see her and then you knock me out. Do you think I meant to do that? Because I really didn't!!" Vanya slammed her hands down on the table causing an empty cup to jump up before settling back down on the table. "Well, Allison's fine now. She can talk." Klaus finally added to the conversation.

I looked over at Allison who hadn't said an entire word since Klaus and I had come down. She looked like she wanted to say something but by the look on her face, she was afraid. She was afraid of angering the wrong person. She knew if she sided with Diego and the others, Luther would be angry. If she sided with Luther then everyone else would be angry.

I walked closer to her and studied her face more intently. The closer I was it didn't seem like she was more worried about what Luther would think if she sided with everyone else. I think she was worried about what Vanya would think about her. She didn't want to upset her and cause trouble but during that time Luther had locked her up, she wanted Vanya to be let out. Allison was confused.

Looking down at the table I searched for something to write with and a piece of paper. I walked over to the other side of the table and picked up the pen that was close to Vanya and held it in my hand. I looked around the room and couldn't find any nearby paper so I grabbed one of the many napkins that were sitting on the center of the table. I set it down in front of Allison and began writing.

_**Side with Vanya and the others. You know what's right. She's your sister ** _

"Ben." She whispered to herself. I took a step back from the table and watched as she picked up the napkin and shoved it into her pocket before anyone had noticed. She looked up to see that everyone was still into the heated argument. Klaus had spoken up more and started voicing his opinions about how a good person Vanya was. Luther, each and every time, would always say that Vanya was dangerous.

I looked over at Vanya who had stopped shouting along with her three brothers. She was looking at her sister. She had an angry look on her face but that slowly went away as Allison smiled at her softly. Vanya smiled back at her. Allison turned her head and sighed. The smile on her face was gone. She looked at Luther and spoke to him. "I agree with everyone else."

To my surprise and everyone else's Luther had shot up from his chair knocking it down to the floor. He took two steps towards Allison who took two steps back to keep the space between them. "Why Allison?"

"Because it wasn't right to lock up Vanya. I get that she nearly killed but I'm still alive, aren't I? It's partially my fault too, I provoked her. I tried to use a rumor on her and clearly, that didn't work. It's not fair to Vanya that she gets to be treated like trash, Dad isn't here anymore. Why are you acting like him?" Luther opened his mouth to speak, to retaliate at Allison's words but she stopped him. "No. Don't. I don't want to hear it."

She turned around quickly and stormed upstairs. Vanya ran after her. "Well, would anyone like any breakfast?" Mom asked. I looked over at her to see that the worried look she had on her face not too long ago was gone and replaced by her smile. She had her hands neatly folded together as she looked at everyone. "No, Mom. That's okay. I think we'll all pass on breakfast." 

"Okay!" She said. "If you need me, I'll be here." Diego smiled and nodded at her. "Thanks, Mom." With that he turned around and left walking up the same stairs, Vanya and Allison had gone up. Five gave Luther one last unforgiving look before following after the rest of his siblings. "Let's go, Klaus. We're done here."

I tossed the pen onto the table and started walking towards the stairs. I heard the sound of a chair scraping back and heard a pair of feet follow after me.

Klaus didn't start talking till we got to his room.

"Well, that was fun and interesting. What did you tell Allison?" He said plopping down onto his bed. "I told her to do what was right. You could tell she was conflicted. I think we can all agree that Vanya should've been released." I tell him.

"I know you weren't there when it happened but you can agree with the rest of us, right?"

"Klaus. There's no point in asking that question. I helped Allison choose because she didn't want to anger the wrong person. I was close with Vanya and I know for a fact she didn't mean to cut Allison's neck. Like Allison had said, she had provoked her and caused it. Vanya would never intentionally hurt Allison. Ever since we've all been back here, Allison has been talking with Vanya and working to make things better with her which is what we should all be doing. Now if you excuse me I have things to do." I turn away from Klaus and head towards the door.

"Like what?" Klaus asks shouting after me as I walk into the hallway. "Like being away from you!" I shove my hands into my pocket and continue walking down the hallway. "Ben?! Ben?!" I don't respond to Klaus calling my name and pretend I don't hear him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> Quick question: What do you guys think of Luther?
> 
> For me, I don't like him! It was so sad seeing everyone try and fight for her!!


	7. The Missing Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm too lazy to rewrite a chapter summary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm actually really mad right now. I posted this chapter and it didn't save cause my word count is fucked up. So now I have to rewrite it. Sorry if it's really short I'm so fucking mad and I don't really remember how it all went!!!!
> 
> I honestly just want to curl up into a ball and cry. I don't want to rewrite this!! The last couple of chapters will be better!!

**Chapter 7: The Missing Girl**

* * *

  

"Hey, Klaus?" I follow Klaus into his room. He had a towel wrapped around his waist as he had just finished taking a shower. I turned around without him asking me to do so and waited for him to answer me.

"What is it?" He said. I heard the towel drop to the ground with a soft thud followed by the sound of a drawer opening and closing. "I think something's wrong with Five."

Klaus scoffed. "Something's always bothering him. Good luck trying to talk to him." I could hear him move from behind me. I crossed my arms and frowned even though he couldn't see me. "I can't talk to anyone besides you." I finally turned back around after facing the door for so long to see Klaus putting on his shirt. He struggled to put his arms through the holes but continued talking.

"Fine, what do you need me to do?" I smiled to myself. Klaus always listened to what I had to say. He couldn't get rid of me no matter how much he wanted to. "Let's go help Five. He looks like he's looking for something." I try to remember what Five always had with him. It never really left his side like he was attached to it.

“What did Five always have with him?” I ask Klaus who had finally fixed his shirt and was now fiddling with the dog tags around his neck. “A mannequin? I think her name is Delores.” I snap my fingers and smile. “That’s it!”

“Let’s go to his room.” I quickly open the door and exit his room before Klaus can say anything. He follows me to Five’s room and we stand outside the door. “Five?” Klaus calls out his name, leaning against the door. “You hear anything?” I ask him. He gives me a shrug for an answer and steps back from the door.

“Open it,” I tell him. He starts pouting and looks at me with puppy eyes. “Why do we have to do that?” He asks whining like he’s a little boy again. “Because I’m the only one in this house who notices what’s going on with everyone in this because I’m forced to watch quietly from the sidelines. And I can only talk to my brother who refuses to help this family. But then again I’m not really sure why.” I say sarcastically rolling my eyes as I do.

Klaus doesn’t say anything because he doesn’t have anything better to say and he knows it. There are just some arguments he can’t beat me in and this is one of many.

He reaches for the doorknob and twists it. He barely pushes the door open before a voice from the other side tells us to leave him alone. “Five?” Klaus ignores his brother’s pleas and enters his room. He closes the door once I’ve entered.

In front of us, the young boy was laying down on his bed facing us. His face was stained with dry tears and his eyes were red from crying. He looks up at us angry but quickly turns away from us, embarrassed by the state he’s in.

“What’s wrong little bro?” Klaus asks sitting on his bed and smiling softly at him even though he was turned away. Five doesn’t answer and continues staring at the wall for his own amusement. “Ask him again,” I tell Klaus when he looks up at me. “Hey, you can talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong.”

“And why should I do that?” I hear him mumble to Klaus. I move closer to the bed and lean against the wall shoving my hands into the pockets of my jacket. “Because, I think there’s a certain someone missing,” Klaus tells him.

Five shoots up from his position and growls at Klaus. He immediately gets up from the bed and backs away acting as if Five was a wild animal. “Don’t you dare.” He warns him.

“I only want to help Five. I mean it. Ben and I both want to help.” Five’s lip starts quivering as he continues staring at Klaus. He clearly got that from him since Klaus used to do that a lot as a kid. He still does.

“We’ve never seen him like this before,” I say to Klaus. He nods his head slowly as he and Five continuing staring at one another.

This is probably going to be the only time Klaus and I, or anyone for that matter, is going to see Five so vulnerable and afraid. He never really shows these emotions because he doesn’t want to seem weak to anyone.

I don’t really think he knows how to express himself. As kids, we would always show these emotions but as the older, we got the farther we pushed these emotions away. I can’t even remember the last time I cried. It’s hard to remember when I saw everyone else cry too.

“Ask him if he wants us to help him find Delores.”

“Hey buddy, do you want us to help you find Delores?” Five nods his head as he wipes his eyes and his face free of tears. “Yeah, let’s go.” He says quietly getting up from the bed and heading to his bedroom door.

Klaus and I follow silently after him as we walk down the hallway and reach the stairs leading to the first floor. “Let’s check the living room.” Five says. We walk down the stairs and head to the archway of the living room.

Five breaks out into a run before either Klaus and I enter. He shoves his way past Allison and Diego who give him rude looks behind his back. “Excuse you,” Allison says rolling her eyes before turning back to Diego.

Five had Delores in his arms but she looked different. She didn’t have on that polka dot shirt that she always had on and for some reason, she had a wig on. “What is this?” Five shouts pulling the wig off and tossing it to the ground.

“Who put this shirt on her? She doesn’t even like this design...or this color!!”

Mom walks in from behind me and smiles sweetly at Five. Diego acknowledges her presence with a smile and nod as he continues talking with Allison.

It seems to me that I’m the only one who notices the outburst that’s going to happen from Five. I can tell by his stance and the look on his face that he isn’t too happy and Mom will get the worst of it. Diego and Allison are distracted with each other and Klaus walked over to the couch to sit down and relax.

I wish I could say something but only Klaus would hear me but it would be too late if I did.

“Oh I did, Five. Do you like it?” She asks him clasping her hands neatly in front of her after smoothing out her apron. “No, I don’t! Why would you just take her from me? I’ve been looking for her everywhere!”

I watch the look on Mom’s face slowly drop into a sad look. Diego’s instantly by her side offering her words of comfort. He looks back at Five and glares at him. “Five, could you be a little nicer? She was just trying to help!”

“Yeah? Well, she fucking failed.” He pushes past Allison and purposely bumps Diego as hard as he can before stomping up the stairs and heading to his room.

“I love this family,” Klaus says standing up from the couch and stretching. “So Allison, you got any more skirts?” He takes her hand and they walk out of the living room and up the stairs.

“Did I do something wrong?” Mom asks looking Diego in the eye. “No you didn’t, Mom. Not at all. It’s okay.”

He wraps his arm around her shoulder and leads her out of the living room. “Let’s go make some cookies.” I hear him tell her before I can’t hear anything he says anymore.

“Well, that went well.” I sigh and shake my head. “Klaus don’t try on any skirts till I see them!!” I up the stairs and head to Allison’s room.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys send prayers, I hope no other fic writers have to go through what I had to. It's so sad when you have to rewrite something you spent time on. I'll never be okay after this lol


	8. Who's Claire?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben wasn't present for when Allison was going on about her daughter. He knew that she had gotten a divorce at one point or another in her life. He never knew that she had a kid as well.
> 
> Ben's the only one in the house besides Pogo and Mom. He hears crying coming from Allison's room and decides to enter and ask her what's wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really like how I wrote it but it'll do.

**Chapter 8: Who's Claire?**

* * *

 

If you were really quiet, you could hear the sounds of someone softly crying from their bedroom over the sound of the pouring rain outside. I didn't really expect anyone to be here besides myself, Pogo, and Mom.

It was a surprise to see Allison crying from her bedroom. It was soft crying though, it wasn’t loud or sobs that raked your body till you stopped.

Everyone else was out and about. I think Vanya was at her house with Five. Diego had gone out and Klaus had tagged along leaving me behind. Luther? I’m not really too sure what he was doing.

I know I couldn’t talk with Allison mouth to mouth but I could write things to her. I had a pen in my pocket but I needed a piece of paper. Hopefully, she had some.

I push open her bedroom door, the sound of the door creaking startles her making her look up from her bed. She quickly wipes her eyes and her nose and takes in a shaky breath. “Ben? Is that you?”

I smile to myself. She’s smart.

I walk into her room and grab a notebook from her dresser. I open it and sit down on her bed.

**Hi.**

“Hi, I didn’t know Klaus left you behind. I thought you went with him and Diego.”

**He left before I could tag along, that jerk**

She laughs softly but I could still hear the sadness in her voice.  **Why are you crying?**

“I miss Claire.” She says to me. She looks up from the notebook and stares out her window. She had a sad look in her eyes even though she was smiling.

**Who’s Claire?**

“She’s my daughter. I can only see her sometimes but it’s my fault that I had a divorce in the first place.” She sighs but continues talking.

“I used my powers on Claire way too many times. She was a kid and you know how kids are, they’re loud and sometimes annoying. They whine and pout when they don’t get their way. Sometimes that was too much for me. Clearly, my husband had enough of me using my powers.”

**How come you can only see her sometimes? Do you visit her?**

“Yeah, I do but I have to go through some program for my “problems”. It’s a lot and I don’t really like talking about it because I feel guilty. If only I hadn’t used my powers.”

**It’s not your fault.** I write into the notebook.  **At least you still get to see here. Once you’re done with that program then I’m sure things will change. Does she know you used your powers on her?**

Allison stayed silent. She either stayed silent because she didn’t know the answer or that her daughter was aware of her powers.

“I wish I could go back in time and change everything. I wish I could fix things with my husband. I just want Claire back.”

**She’s not gone forever you know. Just be patient and then one day you’ll get to see her often.**

Allison nods. “Thanks, Ben. You know I think you should be a therapist.” I put down two question marks onto the sheet of paper. “You’ve helped almost everyone in this house and right now you’re helping me.”

**I’m only doing this because I’m the only one who notices what’s wrong with people in this house and I also can’t do much. I have to get through Klaus to be able to help.**

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Do you want to see pictures of Claire?” Allison gets up from her bed without waiting for an answer from me. She reaches into her bag and pulls out a bunch of photos. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed!!


	9. I Don't Want To Be Dead Anymore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben's had enough but how can he go about telling Klaus that.
> 
> He's always helped Klaus with his problems but now he's afraid to tell him about his. Ever since he died nothing really bothered. Well...nothing really could since he's a ghost.
> 
> But something's been on his mind for a long time now, and it's only now that he actually puts it into some thought.
> 
> Ben doesn't want to be dead anymore, he doesn't want to be a ghost following around one his siblings till they eventually die or he disappears on his own. He hates being dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was originally going to end this at 10 chapters but I forgot what the chapter was going to be about before this one. So here ya go, here's chapter 9.
> 
> Pretty soon I'll have three other works for TUA, up at some point. I've just been busy with shit but my school vacation is pretty soon so maybe they'll be up then.

**Chapter 9: I Don't Want To Be Dead Anymore**

* * *

  

It was nearly nighttime. The sun was slowly setting past the horizon, changing the colors of Klaus’ room.

He was sitting on his bed, quietly knitting and humming a song under his breath. Nothing was really happening in the house. Mom was probably preparing dinner. Pogo was probably off in some part of the house that we never knew about.

The rest of my siblings were doing their own things. Vanya, I know for a fact wasn’t here, she had lessons to teach. I think Allison might have gone with her. Luther was probably in his room not sure on what to do with himself. I don’t think he was ever going back to the moon. Diego was probably getting to leave the house and take down criminals like he usually does.

Five, last I saw him, was in his room.

I was bored sitting here while Klaus was knitting. I wanted to be able to do something but I couldn’t really pick up many things. Vanya’s book was sitting a couple of a inches away from me on the desk but I didn’t want to read that again for the third time. I think I’ve had enough.

It’s not the only thing I was tired of. I’ve had enough of being dead. I was sick of it and was getting repetitive. I was stuck to Klaus forever, either up to when he eventually died or when I disappeared for good. I think that’s what I want. It’s been stuck on my mind since I realized how much this affected me. I wanted to be able to touch things again. I wanted to be able to talk to other people, not just my brother who could see ghosts.

I wanted to go out and see things, instead of being confined to an invisible radius of how far I could travel away from Klaus.

I was sick of it, I was sick of Klaus. I don’t want to be his ‘mother’ the entire time. I don’t want to take care of him constantly, and help him with his addiction. I’m done with it. I just want to leave but how do I tell Klaus that? How can I just disappear and then have the rest of my siblings wonder where I went once Klaus tells them the heartbreaking news.

No one in this family understands my pain. Out of everyone in the family, I have one of the worst powers. Klaus is just behind me. He can get rid of the ghosts by using his drugs like he’s done his entire life. What can I do with my fucking tentacles? Absolutely nothing. They’re just there, inside of me. I hated the missions that Dad sent us on.

The bank mission was one of the worst missions I ever had to do. I can still remember it clearly even though it was ages ago. We’re all grown up now, well at least everyone else is, compared to me. I can still remember how I destroyed the bodies of the men and how their blood was all over me.

Did any of my siblings care?

**No.**

Did they listen to me when I asked if I had to?

**No.**

Why? Because Dad wanted us to follow his orders. He wanted us to use our powers, even knowing that Klaus and I had the worst powers.

I’m dead because of him! I’m dead because of my dumb powers. He had that statue put outside for me but I don’t even think he cared about my death one bit. I don’t think he even realized that my powers had gotten out of control. He probably thought in his head that he didn’t train me hard enough.

You piece of shit father, I hope you rot in your grave. You belong there after what you did to us. None of us will recover, especially the ones you fucked up the most.

“Ben?” I snapped my head up to Klaus who was looking at me from his bed. He had stopped knitting and had placed the ball of yarn and the two sticks next to him.

“You okay? You’re gripping that pen pretty tightly.” I looked down at my hand to see a pen enclosed in my fist. My knuckles had turned white. I slowly released the pressure I had on the pen and placed it on the desk.

“I’m fine. I’m just thinking about stuff.” I say quietly but loud enough for him to hear. I turn my head and focus on the window as I look outside. “Do you want to talk about it?” He asks. I hear him shift on the bed. He sits up and places his feet on the floor.

Maybe I should tell him. I think he deserves to know. Who knows how long I’ll be here with him?

“Klaus.” I start, turning my head back towards him. “Yeah?” He asks.

“I want to disappear. I’m tired of being dead.” Klaus doesn’t know what to say, his mouth is hung open slightly as we continue to make eye contact. I take this moment of silence from him to continue talking.

“As much as I love being your brother and love being around you, it gets tiring after a while. I’m not saying I hate you, I’m saying I hate being dead. I can’t even remember how I fucking died and now that I think about it, I wish I knew so I have one thing to be angry about instead of multiple things. I’m angry at myself, I’m angry at Dad, and I’m angry at everyone in this family. Do you understand how tiring it is to be dead? I can’t fucking touch things anymore, only certain things.” I can hear my voice break as I say my last two sentences.

Klaus shakes his head and he finally says something. “I’m so sorry Ben. I had no idea.”

“Right, of course, you had no idea.” I chuckle as I run a hand through my hair. “How could I be so dumb?” I say quietly to myself.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Klaus finally stands up from his bed, making the ball of yarn fall on the floor, slowly unraveling Klaus’ work. He walks over to me and stands in front of me, a couple of feet away. “There’s nothing you can do about it,” I tell him finally breaking the eye contact we had for a long time.

I focused back on the window. The sun no longer made the room an orange haze, it was now dark out and the lighting of the room made all the colors look bland and boring. The sky had turned to a navy blue that was slowly creeping into a black sky.

“And? It’s better to talk about it then to keep it bottled up.” Klaus said. I sighed. I know Klaus was right but I wanted my problems to be solved. I didn’t want to be angry at everyone anymore. It was so draining.

I don’t want this trauma anymore.

“But I want my problems to be solved. I don’t want to be angry at everyone anymore. It’s so draining Klaus. It really is. Do you remember what happened at the bank?” I asked him. I hope he hadn’t forgotten otherwise this would’ve been for nothing.

“Yeah, you didn’t want to kill those men but we made you do it.” In the corner of my eye, I saw Klaus nod his head sadly. I know he felt bad for it. But I don’t think I could say the same for everyone else.

“I never forgot about that day. It’s all I think about now, that and when I died. I was covered in blood once I came out of that room. Do you think it’s okay for a child to see the dead bodies of men, _he_ had to kill because his insane father wanted him to do it?” Klaus stayed silent as I continued talking.

“Because it’s not right. We’ve all suffered from dad’s teachings and none of us will ever recover. Especially, you, me, and Vanya. I’m fucking dead Klaus. I’m fucking dead. Sometimes I have to remind myself that because there will be times where I’m walking in the house and one of our siblings will walk right through me. That’s when it hits me hard Klaus. I’m stuck like this forever. It’s a miracle that you could summon me but the more I’m with you, the more I don’t want to be like this. Disappearing sounds fucking amazing right now.”

I could feel the first tear roll slowly down my cheek. I hastily wipe it and wipe my eyes to prevent any other tears from falling. I didn’t want to cry right now, especially not in front of Klaus.

“Ben, please don’t leave. I’m honestly begging you. You’ve helped me so much.”

I chuckled and shook my head. I stood up from the chair and walked over to the window. I pulled down the blinds and walked over to Klaus’ bed. I picked up the ball of yarn and fiddled with it in my hands. “Ben?” Klaus called my name.

I finally dropped the yarn and turned to him. “I’m going to be blunt with you Klaus. I apologize if I make you cry and hurt your feelings but you need to hear this. I know I’m going to regret this later but right now I need to say it.”

Klaus took in a deep breath as he prepared himself. “I don’t mind helping you from time to time but it’s getting repetitive. There are times where you’re going to have to help yourself. It gets tiring being the ‘mother’ figure in your life. I know you’ve been hurt by a lot of things but you need to help yourself as well, don’t rely on everyone all the time. I mean it when I say I want to disappear. It’s kind of like I want to die for the second time.” I chuckle at that.

“I have so much pent up anger over a lot of things. Dad’s the main cause of and so is everyone else. That day at after the bank mission, no one comforted me after I had to kill those men. No one else had to kill people, only me. I guess it’s my job since I have tentacles pop out of me. Yeah, let’s just let a young kid kill a bunch of grown men and traumatize them, that makes sense. Dad was the worst father ever and I’m glad he’s dead. I hate him so much and I don’t think once, he ever felt sorry for me or about my death. Do you get why I’m mad? I mad at the rest of our siblings too. I honestly felt like an outcast like Vanya did so many times. I need a break from everything right now.”

I was done talking. I didn’t feel like saying anything else to Klaus. It would’ve been too much for him. It’s already too much for me.

I walk over to his door and open it. I give him a small smile before exiting his room, closing the door behind me.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading till the end!! I had fun writing this!!


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